Lentner Farm Supply

lentner_farm_supply

I might do away with describing ‘levels’ of Photoshop manipulation in my photos. They’re pretty much always over-cooked. This shot, for instance, had decent tonal-range. At one point. But that’s been ‘modified’. In Adobe Photoshop. Boom.

‘Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes…’

– David Bowie – Changes

About this image: digital photograph (Canon 600D) modified in Adobe Photoshop

Rowboat – Glen Haven, M.I.


Who knew? I’m on a boat! Or… I took a photo of one, anyway.

Al Czervik (whose giant anchor has crushed Judge Smails’ boat): “Hey! You scratched my anchor!”

– Rodney Dangerfield – Caddyshack

About this image: digital photograph taken and modified with smart phone (minimally re-touched in Photoshop)

Pilings

So… I think these are pilings. They run along a pier, anyway. As you can tell I’m not that great with nautical stuff. Please don’t ask me to tie a fancy knot (that would get embarrassing in a hurry).

Steve Zissou: “Can you hear the Jack Whales singing?”

*distant horn sounding*

Ned Plimpton: “Beautiful. I wonder what they’re saying?”

Steve Zissou: “Well, actually that’s a sludge tanker over there…

*distant whales singing*

Steve Zissou: “There you go…”

– Bill Murray and Owen Wilson – The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

About this image: digital photograph, lightly modified

Red River Ford

Keep on truckin’ everyone.

Do people still use that line? Probably not.

Still… that’s about all that comes to mind right now.

It seems like the truck’s got my tongue. Or… something like that.

About this image: digital photograph, lightly modified

Diamonds Are Forever

007: “Seriously, Moneypenny… what kind of place did you send me to this time?”

Moneypenny: “Do be a sport, James – M16’s budget is ever so tight, and… you received a substantial AAA discount.”

007: “My room smells of chowder, the air conditioning is on the fritz and these towels are really scratchy! AND I suspect my Vodka Martini has been stirred, not shaken!”

Moneypenny: “Oh, James.”

– neither Sean Connery nor Lois Maxwell

*Disclaimer – I’m sure this is a very nice place. The above is purely fictional and intended to be humorous. Really.*

About this image: digital photograph, moderately modified

Bechyne, North Dakota

Today’s Action Chanel 5 in-computer forecast: 90% chance of fake showers.

I wonder if I could ‘make it rain’ with ‘fake 100 dollar bills’?

Totally Kidding. There’s no need to alert those rather humorless dudes at the Treasury Department. Again.

About this image: digital photographs highly modified

Abandoned Schoolhouse

I’ve got… ‘the block’… just lost for words today. And I write this stuff out in advance. I swear. But my dog ate my homework.

Anyway, here’s a fake Van Dyke Print (abandoned one-room schoolhouse in Walsh County, North Dakota) to look over while I try put together a script for tomorrow’s show. Please stay tuned…

About this image: faux van dyke print – digital photograph – highly manipulated

Mr. Smiley

Today, a former Grand Forks North Dakota legend of sorts: that’s right… a winking water tower. I’m not sure when this beast was originally constructed (before my time, I believe). Anyway, due to escalating maintenance costs ‘Mr. Smiley’ was recently torn down and replaced with a newer, less winky tank-o-H2O.

Silly as it seems I kinda’ miss this  ridiculous thing; (which is part of the reason I made this image so contrasty) I’m a little bitter. I’m sure Mr. Smiley would not have wanted that… he was as optimistic as any inanimate object could be. So long, you oxidized old fellow (I’m off to get a tetanus shot).

About this image: digital photograph heavily modified

Supply

Hey, man… you can put your *wheat* in there (insert your own original and/or modified Saturday Night Live quote here)!  That line was highly revised, and let’s face it… not quite on par with the Bass-O-Matic or Cowbell skits. Any favorite material of your own? Oh well. You probably aren’t here here for my SNL lecture series… unless… you’re that clever land-shark, aren’t you?!

About this image: Digital Photo (elevator in Alton, Illinois) highly manipulated digitally and transferred onto… uhh… faux  iron framework on/inside 12″x12″ panel.